Patchwork Kitty

And here we are.
Yes, I have photo evidence.
May I proudly present........
My cat's undercarriage -



Her name is Frances. She is a princess. She has a problem. There is no shame in this. It is simply nerves and stress from being so beautiful, refined and glamorous amongst a household of dirty, profane commoners.

Frances is actually married to a strapping chap by the name of Sir Rupert Cossington Bathingswaite VC BSC and Bar. Rupert is often away on missions, to keep our country safe from invading forces and so Frances remains at my house. She often gazes out the window as she tends to her needlepoint, dreaming of those long romantic outings they took together in the two seater. Rupert, is a military man it is true. It is a hard life for a military wife. I often note a tear in her eye, as she gazes heavenward. It is not unusual for the odd biplane to dip its wings, as it soars overhead, in deference to her Lady Frances.

Lady Frances has a dear friend, Lady Amanda Soames. Lady Amanda got herself in a spot of trouble recently, with a wickedly handsome chap from Kenya. Lady Frances has stood firmly by her side throughout the scandal. We raised her this way, and are dreadfully proud.

Lady Frances' troubles with....ahem....'self Brazilian obsession and compulsion' started off innocently, as these things usually do. An impressionable beauty, with too much time on her hands. Handsome squire away on secret missions, flying the skies to protect hearth and home. And then mother introduces another into the fold. A human child. Oh yes. A bald squalling brat of little notable worth, who frankly took up too much of the human slave's time. The hairless squirt simply roared, farted and vomited incessantly. And yet, not once did the human let loose with a fistful of claws across its ever open noise-hole. Surely, this would have been the correct reaction to this unwelcome interloper. But never let it be said that the Lady Frances did not TRY. Oh try she did. She sat delicately by its side and drooled lovingly on its head. She joined in the incessant caterwauling - as one knows....misery does indeed love company. She took every opportunity to lie in its cot, pram and rocker...simply to warm it up.

And the gratitude for these esteemable actions.....NOTHING. WORSE THAN NOTHING....she was pushed aside. For THAT hairless, screeching amorphous blob.

And so it began. She only mean't to try it once. Just to see what this hairless business was all about. To satisfy her curiousity about the appeal of pink furless flesh.

And ladies and gentleman the obsession grew. The compulsion to rid herself and bare great swathes of skin is now uncontrollable. Lady Frances must wear full length sleeves and trousers at all times to cover the pink naked flesh. No more skimpy summer dresses for our Lady Frances.

There was a time that we wept. Oh yes, many a tear has fallen. But now? Goddammit, we just accept her in all her patchy glory. If she is addicted to perfecting the full body Brazilian, well so be it. We love her anyway!!

And for the record....Rupert hasn't complained once!!

Mish Mash

I can't hear; my ears are blocked. Louis was sick, ergo I am now sick. I have a blocked head.

Happily, Louis is much better. He is now a velociraptor. A velociraptor who has enormous coughing fits if he runs around too much.

I have nothing to say. Except little mutterings of self pity. So here are a few photos that Louis has taken, that I found on my camera. I know Lynn, totally ripped off post from here. Sue me and I will come around and sneeze on you :)





These two are old. Thank fuck. I hate Thomas and Spencer so much. That obsession ran for a little too long and was way too pervasive. I have that involuntary reaction to the theme song, whereby my bum eats a little bit of my pants.







That last one was my beautiful princess - Frances. She has a bunch of neuroses only rivalled in this household by myself. She actually pulls her hair out by her teeth. She has given herself a complete Brazillian. She has no hair on her forearms either. It's true. I will post some pictures tomorrow. Promise. You just hang in there kids. I know that there is little excitement in this world that compares to pictures of my cat's undercarriage.

Cheers, your welcome.

Can't even see Dawn's crack

Well it is 5am. Have done the folding of washing. Cleaned a bathroom. Emptied the dishwasher. About the scrub the floors. Anyone else get obsessed with cleaning when sleep deprivation is afoot?

Louis up and down all night. He is up right now. Well horizontal on the lounge but UP out of bed. As in, can't be up on his own. He is still feverish. Day Three now.

I am tired. I think that is why I keep moving too. You feel it more when you stop.

Okay, going to clean.
Bye

Fever all through the night

Poor wee chook is sick. Fevers and a barking seal cough. Does anything tug at the heartstrings more than your sick offspring? He has the rosy cheeks that come with fever and the bleary watery eyes. Every time I ask him how he is (why do I do this? Isn't it obvious?) he says "good". Despite the fact he has not moved off the lounge for two days, except to go to bed.

Hubs is home today. Taking a day off due to having had no sleep for a couple of nights. Hacking seals are not soporific. This allowed me to go and search for dinosaur DVDs for the patient. There simply are not enough dinosaur documentaries around. I got the giggles though, embarrassing when one is alone, when I realise that I bypass the children's section altogether and head directly for the section next to the porn, labelled "Special Interest". Aint that the truth!!

And yes, I know about "The Land Before Time" and Diego's and Dora's efforts at including dinosaurs in the scream-fests they call episodes. Louis almost had conniptions over their incorrect naming of prehistoric beasts. When the dinosaurs started talking he simply removed himself from the room in disgust.

Luckily, I found a documentary that he has not seen. Thank you Discovery Channel.

I am off to mop a fevered brow. Bye

A friend indeed

I just left Louis' bedroom after putting him to sleep. He just had his second meltdown of the day about not wanting to go to prechool.
It is impossible for him to explain why he doesn't want to go. I can't really suggest reasons, hoping to act as a catalyst for him to talk, because he just echos what I say.

I am pretty sure the problem is that his little playmate is away this week. This is the only kid that Louis plays with at preschool. He has been nominated as the "friend". I have written before about Louis' firm belief that he can only have one friend at a time.

The thing is, I think Louis being upset has nothing really to do with the actual kid, it is because his entire predictable preschool experience has been disrupted. Louis knew HOW to play with this friend. They have been solely each other's company at preschool since September last year. He NEVER sees this kid outside of school. He NEVER pines for this kid outside of school. He has loads of other kids outside of school that he has playdates with and he loves playing with them. I think that he does that compartmentalising thing. This kid for preschool, this kid for out of school etc etc.

Anyway, it is heartbreaking. I had an inkling that he may have a reaction, so I organised to be parent helper tomorrow. Hey hey!! Autism kid foresight....nice one. Last thing he asked before he sobbed himself to sleep was "could you carry me all day tomorrow?" cue heartbreak right here.
Oh baby, I will carry you every moment until you can walk on your own.

If anyone has any idea on how to help in this situation, I am open to suggestions.

Cheers

School hopefully.

Okey dokey....heads up I have some news.
I THINK I have found a school for Louis!
We had one of two interviews yesterday. It was with the principal of the whole school and the principal of the junior school and the head of Learning Support.
My husband stayed at work for this one. We figured we wouldn't give away the gene pool mystery this early. Ha! Nah, we decided to take along Louis' therapist for this one.

And let me tell you IT WAS BRILLIANT! I couldn't have scripted it better.

They are really on the ball, as far as knowing their autism stuff. They asked the right questions and seemed happy with our answers. Both principals and Learning Support teacher knew all about the quirks of autism. From what I hear they have quite a lot of autistic and other special needs kids in the mainstream classes. It is the only mainstream school I have come across, that have sent ALL their staff to autism specific training. How great is that? They totally understood what I meant, when I described Louis' shut downs. They got quite excited actually, because they have a boy in Year 8 that just disappears and stops hearing and seeing too.

But the best thing, Louis' therapist - a brilliant woman and great friend of mine - used to be the boss of the Learning Support leader. They did the whole OMG hug hug thing. I knew at that point, things were on my side.

Anyway, the Learning Support woman is going to see Louis at preschool next week. I guess the only person that can stuff things up at this point is him. As if that is going to happen, he is too adorable for words these days.

I warned them about his current dinosaur obsession and can only hope that he is a herbivore that day.

Cheers!

Happy Birthday to Me

It is my birthday today! I am 39 years old.

Louis said "happy birthday", with only a little prompting.

That was a pretty damn good present.

He does insist that I am 87 years old though. And that he is 31 years old.

Wanna see something cute?

And finally.....what I found when I went to hang out the washing:

Grumpy Old Troll

My cranky old bitch level is right up there tonight. I feel all prickly and frustrated. I really am the dream wife, you know?

Trying to keep it all in. Pushed down into that tight, seething ball in the pit of my guts.

We got back a little while ago from my brother's place. Unfortunately, Louis was less than pleasant in the social niceties stakes this afternoon. Feeling the way I do right now, I can't really blame him. Thing is, Louis probably tries a lot harder than I do to keep his equilibrium.

He is just having an off day. He has had five accidents of the liquid variety today. He just doesn't seem to have felt the urge - until too late. He was biting his fingers a lot, once we were at his cousin's house and was not able to speak for a while. He wanted to keep his tight beanie on his head for the majority of the visit too.

I organised some outside running around, to ease his stress, which worked well. My family are the greatest, but they do tend to LOOK at Louis a lot, mainly because they desperately want to ease his discomfort and are always watching him for signs of distress. So, outside running around was a pretty good relaxer for a while.

I started to wind things up and we all went back inside. Louis was quite short with his cousin, who wanted to play WITH him. There were a few instances of bellowing "NO, I DON'T WANT TO", "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY" and just plain old "I SAID NO!" Each time he was made to apologise quickly and we all moved on.

However, I was glad to get out of there tonight. Some days autism and social stuff, just aren't going to mix, no matter how we may try.

We drove home listening to a compilation CD of dinosaur songs. It was when my husband pointed out that swearing under my breath repeatedly when they sung about the 'mighty brontosaurus'*, that I realised ONCE AGAIN, that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

* It is NOT a brontosaurus. There is NO SUCH THING as a brontosaurus. It is an Apatosaurus.

Anyhoo, I am off. In every which way.

The Good Wife

Who tells men that little blonde frosted tips on their hair looks good? Just can't STAND that look!

And that brushed forward bieber looking do, that young teenage lads have. Shit on toast.

I guess this is part of getting old. Men under the age of 30 just look ridiculous to me. They seem to flounce around a lot more than men used to. As a woman, I appreciate the ability to spell correctly incredibly more sexy than the ability to ponce around the local shopping centre with faux-hawks.

So I have banned my husband from the local mall.

Ha ha ha!

He totally has no hair to mohawk, fauxhawk, foof or flounce. There are a few little baby elephant tufts up top and that is about it.

BUT he can spell.

And so we shall remain married.

So this train of thought came about because I was wondering if my Louis will ever give a crap about looks and style. I have spoken to mothers, who claim that their son's are extremely picky about what they wear. Seriously! They insist on certain styles of clothes, and choose clothes for how they LOOK. I am not talking about needing soft clothes, with no tags etc. I am talking aesthetics! At kindergarten age.

Louis rarely notices if he is dressed or not. He often toddles off out of the house with no shoes on. He gets in the bath with his clothes still on. If I didn't pull him up, I really don't know how long it would be until he noticed.

So, I was just wondering if anyone elses tizzy kids notice what they are wearing. To be honest, I am hoping that he never cares about this stuff. I would hate to have to start putting an effort into what I look like, for fear of embarrassing him!

I will leave you with this morning's Louis antics.

Louis was walking back from the park with Daddy and the dog. A man walked past them with another dog, which barked fiercely at our dog. Louis freaked. Daddy swung around trying to control our equally freaked out dog and inadvertently hit Louis in the head with his back pack. I had been watching from our house and shuffled down the road to meet them.

Louis was sniffling still when I picked him up. He said "Mummy, Daddy hit me in the head". I said "That is no good buddy, it was an accident though". Louis replied "No, he did it on purpose". I grinned and said to Daddy "Well, that was a crappy thing to do, wasn't it!". Daddy tried for a teaching moment "Louis, it was an accident. When you kicked that girl, when you were on the swing, that was an accident wasn't it?". Louis "No it was on purpose".

Nice one!

So anyway, we had a scheduled play date which we rocked up to with Louis wearing a bandage around his head and bandaids plastered in his hair (he insisted on this). Then he got to tell everyone that he looked the way he did because: "Daddy, hits me on the head - ON PURPOSE!!"

Poor Hubs. I am so not a united front. Nope, not for a minute.

Remember me??

Howza kids!

I am nearly back on board. Every Louis free moment has been devoted to essays, assignments and exams. Only one more to go, and I am FREE baby!!

For three weeks anyway.

Just going to give a quick recount of the EEG excitement. I am so proud of my laddio. He sat there like a freaking champ, while they stuck on all the leads and bandages. He lay in that bed for 24 hours and did not complain once. The techs and neurologists were amazed by his good behaviour.

You know, I would like to pretend that it has something to do with my parenting. But it doesn't. Louis is just one of those autistic kids that LOVE a good rule. When he is told what is going to happen, and then it happens, he is okay. It is when things happen unexpectedly that he falls apart. Also, he totally loses the power to speak or move when he is stressed. So he looks well behaved, when really he is going into shut down. NEAT huh!!!

Joking, it is pretty sad to watch, when you know what is going on. Luckily the neurologist has spent time with Louis before and knew to start making random statements about dinosaurs to relax him. Before long, Louis could talk again and was off on the endless dinosaur monologue that took up most of the next 24 hours.

So Louis was great. Handled the whole event with grace and style.

If anyone cares, I didn't sleep a fucking wink. I had a lovely fold out chair to sleep on. But one really shitty thing about the children's hospital, is all the sick children. Sick children are understandably pissed off. And pissed off sick kids can be damn loud! All night! Poor mites. But still, no sleep for me!!

End result of the 24 hour video EEG.......

SAME AS LAST TIME!!!!

bilateral epileptiform discharges happening often in both day and night. Not quite seizures but possibly precursors, maybe just a stangely wired autistic brain. No MRI (thank you!) and no medication at this point. All good, just need to keep an eye on him.

So that is that.

I will be back soon, blogging regularly again.

Before I go, this is a conversation I had with Louis this morning.

Louis: almost in tears "I wish I could be a super hero"
Me: "Like superman?"
Louis: "No! Like SuperLouis"
Me: "You can be SuperLouis today, if you like"
Louis: "No thank you"
Me: ??