Tie me kangaroo down sport.

Not sure why I picked that picture to show you all. I just like it. It is a very typical look for Louis. The rosy pink background and the kangaroo are just an added bonus really.

So....Louis is still cranking out the fevers. Could be virus, could be bacterial. No-one knows. However, it does mean that I am going to have to stay home tomorrow and look after him.

I have started doing some training, working with Louis' therapist, to work with autistic kids. Yeah yeah, I know, live it work it blah blah.

I am feeling terribly guilty that I can't go to 'work' tomorrow. Yes, i know the logic, Louis is sick, he comes first. But I am still battling with the feeling that I am letting people down. I know that this isn't the case, as I am just an extra at this point but still....

This is such an ingrained guilt feeling of mine. I blame my mum entirely..."hi Mum!". Actually, both my parents have an over the top work ethic. I am not putting down being responsible and having a strong sense of duty, but this is the woman that went to work when she had typhoid for God's sake! Yup, you heard me. Typhoid!

As I have gotten older and wiser, I have to be aware that I am actually not that important. The world can get on quite capably without me. I don't have to control everything. I have learned to accept that this awareness is actually sanity. Seeing things as they really are.

Frankly, at the moment, I feel as though I am lacking a bit of sanity. I have totally skewed perspective and am creeping down that old road of seeing every little problem as the end of the world.

I know that there are certain actions that I can take, to prevent this catastrophising and melodrama. Time to start walking the walk. Time to stop controlling and just concentrate on doing the next right thing.

This post has probably been a vague, indecipherable mess to most. Never mind, it helped me to put it down.

Just look at the pretty picture of the cute kid next to the kangaroo. It's all good.

Musings of the Museum

I feel like I have an awful lot to write about but I just don't want to think about it.

Louis had, what I presume was, a pretty big seizure last night. Just when I was ready to ring the neurologist and say no to the Epilim. You see, he has been doing so incredibly great. He has been stimmy, and happy and squeaky and bouncy and...dare I say it....pretty damn social!

But last night he was screaming and terribly upset. He said his leg wouldn't stop kicking and his head was all wobbly. He seems feverish and totally out of it today. He is exhausted and weak and can't be arsed talking.

Guess I will be filling that script in the morning after all.

Well, I don't want to end my first post back on a bad note. So here is a gooey bit.

Louis has finally made it to the museum. We have held back because of his sensory sensitivities. You see, the museum is an hour away, and we were worried that a meltdown would ensue at the door of the museum. When Louis has a meltdown, he needs to get back home ASAP. Safety behind closed doors you know.

Well, he absolutely LOVED the museum. He flapped and giggled over the dinosaurs. Hubby asked him whether he was number one or number two happy (emotion therapy - more on that later) and Louis said "I am 65 million years ago happy".

And he is!! We have been back every week since.

I am back

Oops. That was a whole month wasn't it. Shit.

I could come up with a whole bunch of reasons. But you already know what they are. I mean most of you live them right along with me. That's why I love ya.

I will write a catch up post this afternoon.

Stayed tuned for - seizure updates
- funny comments
- school decisions
- another animal down
- and so much more!!

Damn thrilling huh,

M