I have had a bit of a break from blogging. It is not as if life stopped throwing up blogworthy moments, I just have been feeling a bit adrift and I haven't been able to put it into words.
I know I have experienced these feeling before, but as each period of difficulty piles up on the ones before, it feels as if I am knocked around just that little more.
I may not even post this up.
I have ye olde chronic depression. Like in long term. Back from as long as I can remember. I have been on medication for it forever. I don't have many qualms about taking antidepressants because frankly without them I cannot function. I have done and do CBT techniques, meditation, writing etc etc. And yet I can still so easily be flattened by a rolling tsunami of mood swings, that appear out of nowhere.
I guess that is where I have been. Grabbing at the flotsam and holding my breath until I can get my head above water again.
I am not writing this post for sympathy. Please, that gives me the squinks. I just need to acknowledge it every now and then. Because I tend to pretend it isn't happening and I hide behind brittle humour while the core starts crumbling.
Consider it acknowledged. I have a post in the making about a funny little lad, who we took on a day trip to the mountains yesterday. Back soon then....buck up! It's not all so bad!
3 comments:
Depression is a bugger. Come on, if it were chronic asthma you had you wouldn't feel that you should buck up. You'd take medication and do what you had to get in control of the condition. No-one would insinuate that it was something you were doing or not doing that caused it, or that was a sign of weakness. Niether is depression. Do what you have to do and take what you have to take.
And I do send you love and virtual hugs because that's what I would send to someone with an illness.
OK!!!!
shit! I don't know whether to hide or ask for a hug. Love your work Anna x
It's a hug then!!!
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