Have yourself a.......

And the festive day rolls around yet again.

I have not been here too much. A mixture of not enough time and not wanting to record the whys and wherefores of our lives. Suffice to say we have been having some difficulty with anxiety. End of year, change looming for big school, endless illnesses, a shit for brains paediatrician, and of course the old abiding Santa phobia.

This year I am asking Santa for a new paediatrician who is competent and knowledgable and respectful about autism. New skills and medication to help Louis enough to manage Kindergarten. An unwavering ability to look at the positives and bright side of life. Oh, boundless energy and enthusiasm would be gratefully accepted too.

You know,all bitching aside.... I am excited. Louis has happily accepted the tree in the house this year. We had a lovely time decorating it - and I only turned into the Tree Nazi when my mother tried to put the tinsel on in a vertical manner (WTF?!). We have avoided having any pictures, labels, wrapping paper, cards or decorations with Santa on them. God bless him, Louis really hates the man. At his preschool concert, I was moved to tears as I watched 12 little boys and girls with Santa hats and one skinny pale kid with reindeer antlers. Damn, he was the cutest thing ever.

Presents are going to be multiple in nature this year (only two last year). I believe that he will be able to cope and if he can't I will whisk a couple into a dark corner for later opening. I don't want to instil a materialistic bent to Louis' fairly zen nature but I really wanted to find something that would make his little face light up with excitement. Last year, when asked what he wanted for Christmas, he asked for "a circle". This year, he has asked for a "gold car". A matchbox car that costs about $2.00. It might be a failing within me, but I just can't bring myself to buy him a two buck car and call it quits. He would be happy, but I would feel like a tight arse jerk. Yeah, I know, my problem. Fuck it, add that one to the list I will bring to therapy when I can afford it.

The old man has three weeks off, which is very exciting. Three weeks of shared parenting, and in holiday season too! Husband is extremely good with Louis. They take long bus trips together, wander museums in quiet hours and float and splash in the pool for days on end.

Speaking of the pool, the weather for this time of year is ridiculous. It has not cracked 25 degrees. Usually we are heading for 40 degrees by Christmas. Unbelievable. I wish it would fine up. There is nothing more calming to Louis sensorily than a good hour or so in the pool.

And so my dear friends, I hope you all get through this festive season unscathed. If I could have you over for a dip in the pool with the kids, I would be delighted. Actually, I know one good reader who should be in the drink within a week. She is dreadfully lovely, but her son......divine!

Well this ramble has come to an end.

Adieu and Happy Christmas everyone xx

Oh dear

Absence seizures. Not sure how many a day.
His severe anxiety needs to be addressed with medications before we consider Epilim.
It isn't affecting his learning and the dangers of developing more severe seizures need to be weighed up against the medicine's side effects.

His anxiety is getting worse and not responding to cognitive therapy or homoeopathics.

I am gutted.

i want a cigarette.

A few Louisms

Just want to make a note of a few new Louisisms.

Daddy has been trying to teach Louis the basics of meditation, in our ongoing quest to ease his anxiety. Louis however, tries to breathe "fast", as fast is better than slow....obviously.

Anyway, he has made up a new game. He asks politely if you want to "play the meditation game" The game is you hold hands and as he says "the first one to let go wins". The kid is a sage.

I asked Louis yesterday if he knew where the "ladies" were...meaning the toilet. we were playing a game of restaurants...it had gotten awfully repetitive and I wanted to mix things up a little. He looked at me blankly and walked away. He came back with his arms around thin air and said "here are the ladies!".

I have mentioned it before, but it kills me.....when he has his hands full, he always triumphantly announces "I have full of hands!".

Neurologist tomorrow.

I am nervous.

He is oblivious.

I prefer it that way.

Cheers....xx