I feel like all I write about is feeling crap. Then I figure, maybe I need to investigate new anti-depressants.
Then I remember that my dog died last week. I had to put him down, due to cancer. I have lost 4 animals in the last year. And of course, they were fast following on my darling Henry and my dear friend Cheryl.
I don't like it.
It makes me sad.
It compounds my hyper awareness of my mortality. Then I think of Louis and AARRRRRGGGH!!
I mean come on universe, God, higher power, planets, angels.....whatever. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!
If there is some goddamn message I am supposed to be getting, fucking post me a letter. I am obviously not GETTING it!!!!!
And then I remember that I am not the centre of the universe. I am not being punished.
With life there is death.
With darkness there is light.
With pain there is joy.
With all the darkness, pain, and death my darling Charlie.....there was you.
Thank you.
Thank you for being a damn good boy. I love you sweetheart.